I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
