Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
