...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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