I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
