I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize