We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
