And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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