so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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