Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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