I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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