Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
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He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
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THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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