Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
