this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
