I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
