don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
