Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
