girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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