watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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