So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
