I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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