so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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