she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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