My brain says no but my pants say off.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
