I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sext me about skeletons
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
