after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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