he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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