we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably