That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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