What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize