He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
