so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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