So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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