Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
