Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Sorry my hands just texted you
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
