dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
they need to just BURY HIM!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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