it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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