Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
