She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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