NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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