Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
did i walk over a car last night?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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