Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
