let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
