so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.