hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
