Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.

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(831): View more from California

yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd

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(910): View more from North Carolina

so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(904): View more from Florida

I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.

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(325): View more from Texas

3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!

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(727): View more from Florida

I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.

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