apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills