i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
