I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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