Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
