What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
