I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
