we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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