Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
