new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize