I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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