is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
