Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
