I swear she didn't look like that last week.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There's even glitter on my cock...
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