Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
