16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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