I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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