Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
