i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I supernannyed him into submission
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