these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
