We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
